I am LeBron James.  I was born in Akron, Ohio in the early 1980’s.  I had a phone number that started with 216, then 330.  I’ve eaten at Rocco’s Pizza and shopped for kicks at Rolling Acres Mall.  I lived with my mom and rode the ‘Tro around town.  One day I grew up and moved to South Florida.  I’m now married to the love of my life and we have three wonderful children.  All of this also makes me Aaron Fusselman.  The difference?  Well, besides 12 inches of height and about $500 million, no one cared when I left town.  My “decision” didn’t hurt anyone, and it certainly didn’t embarrass millions of people on national television.

Like the aforementioned multitudes, I spent four years loathing LeBron while he played in Miami.  I was happy when he lost and angry when he won.  I even resorted to humorous extremes like makeshift voodoo dolls during the playoffs, and yes, I lit my #23 Cavs jersey on fire.  Since I currently live outside of the LeBron fallout zone, my local/Florida friends and family never really understood why I felt this way.  They said things like “it’s just sports” or “every team loses players.”  The particularly thoughtful observers would get on me for criticizing someone who took a better job offer.  They told me that I should be happy for “a kid from Akron” who found success.  But that’s missing the point.  You see, while I am essentially no one, geographical chance has given me a unique view of the evolving reputation of LeBron James since he left Ohio.  And it all comes down to a tale of two cities.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

There’s an old saying that goes something like, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”  So I guess we should have seen it coming.  But it didn’t change our reaction:  LeBron was public enemy #1.  It wasn’t “the Decision” television show, or the ridiculous “not 7” claim.  No, Ohioans loathed LeBron because he told us the same thing we’ve been hearing for the last 50 years – only this time it came from one of our own.  He echoed the sentiment of Standard Oil, Firestone Tires, Art Modell, and even Albert Belle.  He said, “You’re not good enough.  Your people, economy, schools, entertainment, housing, restaurants – they’re just not good enough.  Thanks for nothing, eat dirt.”  There’s not much to hang your hat on in our area, so we do it with our sports teams and players.  Ever try to hang your hat on a pile of manure?  We’ve been doing it since the 1960’s when Jim Brown retired far too soon so he could be an actor.  The point is this:  we always lose.

Now fast-forward to July 2010 where our smelly hats are 6’ 9” above the manure pile, resting safely on LeBron’s tattooed shoulders as he approaches the zenith of his sport and possibly much more.  We’re kind of a winner!  Granted, free agency is looming, but LeBron is not going to leave the Cavs.  There were rumors, but it couldn’t be true.  There’s no way he’d make the wrong decision and embarrass his entire home state on national television, right?  Would he really leave a scenario where he had an entire franchise at his beckon call, had just posted back-to-back 60-win seasons, was on the cusp of sports immortality by delivering the championship he promised, and was quite literally considered a king?  That would be unprecedented.

And then it happened.  A kid from Akron admitted he’s too weak to do it on his own.  The pronouncement came on the most watched show on television.  So not only were we shat on again, but the most brazen example of Akron grit was proved to be soft – and everyone knew it.  Being a loser and being dumped are somewhat manageable if you can keep it to yourself.  Thanks to LeBron, the entire world found out.  So THAT is why we abhorred LeBron, why our venom did not subside when he became a champion, and why we had every right to feel the way we did.  Vitriol was the catharsis of choice for millions of sports fans in Ohio.

The only thing harsher than the winters Ohioans have are the opportunities we don’t.  So when one of our own makes it big, we all share in their success.  Buckeye native sons Bobby Knight, Jack Nicklaus, George Steinbrenner, Bo Schembechler, Alvin Robertson, and scores of others made it big in the sports world.  Why?  Because they’re tough – and that has everything to do with being from Ohio.  The kicker is that none of them reached their athletic pinnacle in Ohio.  We finally had a guy who could do that, and he bailed for sunny South Florida.  Now our only solace would require a return home mid-career, and that would be downright foolish.

It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…

There’s another old saying that goes something like, “Los Angeles is the place you go when you want to be somebody; New York is the place you go when you are somebody; and Miami is the place you go when you want to be somebody else.”   This much is true for NBA Hall-of-Famer Pat Riley.  His first coaching gig was in Los Angeles with the show-time Lakers of the 1980’s.  After establishing himself as a premier championship coach, he bolted for the New York Knicks in the early 90’s, taking them to the NBA Finals for the first time in more than 20 years.  After a short and successful stint in the Big Apple, he then took his talents to South Beach to become the head coach and team president of the Miami Heat.  Three championships later, he’s now part owner of the team.  Between player, coach, and executive, he’s probably the greatest winner in NBA history.  He actually doesn’t need a hat because his hair is perfect.  But if he has one it’s anything but messy.  The point is this:  Pat Riley doesn’t lose.

Now fast-forward to July 2014 where Riley’s (and all of South Florida’s) hats are 6’ 9” above the sun-kissed sand of their beautiful beaches, surrounded by Larry O’Brien trophies and perfect tans.  They’re champions!  Granted, free agency is looming, but LeBron is not going to leave the Heat.  There were rumors, but it couldn’t be true.  There’s no way he’d make the wrong decision again and insult the glamour franchise and region that gave him exactly what they promised, right?  Would he really leave a scenario with multiple hall-of-fame teammates, the game’s best young coach, best executive, and a perennial championship culture after 4 straight trips to the Finals?  That would be unprecedented.

And then it happened.  A resident of Miami admitted that flawless weather and an ocean view can’t trump two feet of snow and run-down factories.  This time his declaration came in the form of a nearly-perfect essay, published in a leading sports magazine.  Only now there was no embarrassment.  South Floridians will recover, as they rightfully have other things to worry about.  Thanks to LeBron, the entire world realized once again what Dorothy said all those years ago:  there’s no place like home.  So THAT is why LeBron is now beloved, why the once-endless contempt has vanished, and why Northeast Ohioans still have the right to feel the way we do.  Victory is now our catharsis of choice.

The only thing hotter than the summer in South Florida is the lifestyle it promotes.  So for those lucky enough to live here, there’s plenty to focus on outside of sports.  Beautiful people, architecture, opportunities, and scenery provide enough distraction to spare this region the sports madness known elsewhere.  Did Pat Riley suffer a rare loss when LeBron left?  Sure – but it had nothing to do with Miami.   The kicker is that no amount of wealth, fame, or success can keep someone away from home if their heart never really left to begin with.

When it’s all said and done, LeBron will be known for making two incredibly difficult and unpopular decisions.  He left his hometown team at the altar.  Then he left an intact championship team in the same manner – all while in his prime.   These things simply haven’t happened before in sports.  How was he able to navigate two extraordinarily challenging situations?   He was tough enough to do it.  And now his return just might inspire the next tough guy or gal to wipe off their hat and continue the proud legacy of perseverance in Northeast Ohio.

6/19/2016, UPDATE 1:  Ok guys it’s been two years since I wrote this,  but LeBron just led the Cavs to the first Cleveland championship since 1964 against the greatest team of all time.  Why?  BECAUSE HE WAS TOUGH ENOUGH!!!

7/1/2018, UPDATE 2: Ok guys it’s been two years since I wrote the last update,  but LeBron just announced he’s going to the Lakers.  Dang.  But I’m alright with it.  Why?  See above.  It’s different this time, y’all.