Recently, I noticed a bite had been taken out of some blinds in our house. Yes, a bite.  Two suspects remained after a lengthy discovery process:  our oldest daughters.  Nevertheless, witness depositions failed to identify the assailant.  Now it was time for forensics.  We had each kid bite the blinds again.  After all, if the bite doesn’t fit, you must acquit, right?  The younger kid was baffled at what we asked.  Meanwhile the older one took a chomp out like it was a zebra cake, revealing an exact “match.”  Busted!  Now the tricky part:  sentencing.

We discipline our kids and we are proponents of spanking, but we try to stick to some ground rules. One rule is that we won’t spank if we didn’t warn them ahead of time.  Was she going to get off on a technicality?  Not in this house!  It was late, so I told her she couldn’t take a little red duck to bed with her.  That hurt because it had been missing all day and she finally found it.  Next came the tears.  I was surprised that she was so upset, but we stuck to our guns.

Later on I saw it. The poor kid missed her lost red duck so much that she drew a milk-carton-esque picture of it and posted it on the refrigerator earlier that day.  My heart sank.  I wanted to sprint back into her room, wake her up, and give her that duck along with the biggest hug she’s ever had.  But I didn’t, because one day when she enters the workplace/society/adulthood, she’ll know that actions have consequences and there’s no way around it.

With all the media attention, I hope my fellow parents aren’t leery of discipline after a mega football star allegedly beat his child with a “switch.” First things first: abuse is not discipline, and discipline is not abuse.  When we read about child abuse, the temptation might be to outlaw discipline (specifically spanking) altogether.  However, as a parent I think spanking has a place in how we bring up children today.

The tricky part is that administering discipline takes discipline.  It’s probably harder on the parent than the child.  But you owe it your child(ren) to discipline them.  Yes, you’re going to make mistakes, but here are a few guidelines my wife and I try to use:

All children are different.  For ages 11ish and under, spank if they know it’s wrong and you’ve warned them. Never do it angry or to shame them, and afterward make sure they know they are completely forgiven.  If they didn’t know or if you didn’t warn them but they still deserve to be punished, take something away.  And for ages 12 and up, taking away privileges is probably best anyway, not spanking.  Finally, for just about any age, it’s hard to go wrong with some good ol’ manual labor.

Stay strong parents! Take a “bite” out of crime and have the courage to appropriately discipline your children with love.  It’s hard now, but they’ll be better off in the long run.